What Would Be The Most Inappropriate But Awesome Rally Car?

"Tom McParland" (tommcparland) 01/01/2014 at 10:29 • Filed to: Rally Cars, discussion, articles

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I recently have developed this sickness where I want to put rally lights on all kinds of cars. I'd love to get TDI Sportwagen and throw some HELLAs on that piece. So today's rally theme got me thinking....what would be the most inappropriate but awesome rally car?

My pick would be the new Cayman S...increase the suspension travel and throw a set of lights on it and that mid-engine machine could be a hoot on gravel and mud. What is your pick?

daender > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 10:31

6

Rusty Slammington.

PS9 > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 10:32

29

Admit it. You all want to rally a Prius. Don't deny the awesomeness of this picture.

GhostZ > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 10:33

6

My choice is obvious.

But for the most inappropriate:

Goshen, formerly Darkcode > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 10:35

23

With all the chrome and vinyl trim in place. It'd make absolutely no sense whatsoever, and that's why it'd be awesome.

signintokinjalol > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 10:35

2

Something with air bags.

Or a Miata...

Corey CC97, MAZDA DPI IS STILL BAE JOESTACTIV JOESTACTIV JOESTACTIV JOESTACTIV VISIT FLORIDA RACING LIVES FOREVER IN OUR HEARTS > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 10:36

8

I made a rally version of this car in Forza Horizon. It was super effective.

designlife > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 10:37

11

this car will never see a dirt road again

Corey CC97, MAZDA DPI IS STILL BAE JOESTACTIV JOESTACTIV JOESTACTIV JOESTACTIV VISIT FLORIDA RACING LIVES FOREVER IN OUR HEARTS > PS9 01/01/2014 at 10:39

24

Well, maybe. Depends if it has a manual or not.

PS9 > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 10:39

10

You'd probably get killed rallying this in Iraq or Afghanistan.

Ramblin Rover - The Vivisector of Solihull > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 10:40

8

The Comet Caliente really shouldn't have made for a good rally car. Light'n'slidey, nose-heavy, less than optimal front suspension, cheap and body-flexy Falcon/Comet platform, RWD only. Didn't matter.

Alex87f > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 10:40

5

Bill Caswell's 500$ E30 is a solid contender!

Especially since it later evolved into this:

Intrepidman > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 10:41

8

NotEnoughMinerals > PS9 01/01/2014 at 10:41

7

Bob LeDrew > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 10:43

12

I declare this question answered.

Mustang 'DontHitTheCrowd' GT > Goshen, formerly Darkcode 01/01/2014 at 10:43

0

You could make chrome shavings after all the dropped pieces afterwards!

winters4 > Goshen, formerly Darkcode 01/01/2014 at 10:43

0

I'd love to see this tear up some tiny gravel road in the midst of the deep and dark Swedish woods.

Tom McParland > Bob LeDrew 01/01/2014 at 10:44

5

#Skaybait !

dataPOG > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 10:44

4

Porsches should be excluded...they did that.

How about some $kaybait?

John Norris (AngryDrifter) > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 10:44

4

Icchan > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 10:45

14

Face it, it can't turn for shit, but sweet fancy Shelby is it going to get some glorious air on the hilly bits.

banjo cat ghost of oppo past > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 10:45

14

With Hyabusa engine

OR

jack the suspension, throw on some dual sport tires....and build a beefy ass'd cage you got yourself one classy slide machine

Mustang 'DontHitTheCrowd' GT > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 10:45

5

Ford Model T
Its not the fastest, but the thing (as I've seen in videos) could rip through mud pretty easily, as most roads back then were mud.

John Norris (AngryDrifter) > John Norris (AngryDrifter) 01/01/2014 at 10:46

1

or ...

Icchan > PS9 01/01/2014 at 10:46

3

Only if it can't outrun a Toyota technical.

...yeah, actually, that might be a problem. You're right, dead rally team.

Corey CC97, MAZDA DPI IS STILL BAE JOESTACTIV JOESTACTIV JOESTACTIV JOESTACTIV VISIT FLORIDA RACING LIVES FOREVER IN OUR HEARTS > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 10:47

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Iwaswonderofwonders > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 10:47

1

Abe Froman > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 10:47

6

too big, too fancy, too expensive but give it some knobbies, soft suspension and rally lights. would hoon.

Tetrisaurus > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 10:48

17

No?

ImOld > Goshen, formerly Darkcode 01/01/2014 at 10:48

0

Oh, to see this turd in full oppo at full speed. I'm pretty sure even the crazy ass rally fans would be running for their lives

Ratchet when he's all hopped up on synthetic energon > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 10:49

5

Lotus Elise. I don't think that full carbon monocoque tub is going to take more than a single jump.

Goshen, formerly Darkcode > ImOld 01/01/2014 at 10:49

0

OMG! TORQUE STEER! RUN, RUN!

PoorBoysRacing5389 > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 10:50

3

My friend is currently building a 2000 buck regal GS for rallycross duties. Its awesome. I mean supercharged rally Buick. C'mon.

The Old Man from Scene 24 > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 10:51

9

Gentlemen, as with everything on Jalopnik, the correct answer is ALWAYS.... Miata.

KEMO > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 10:53

6

this Hill Climbing BEAST .. PONTIAC POOWAA

BlueBMWGuy > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 10:54

10

I submit this for the Dakar Rally in the Truck category.. with a few tweaks of course..

Alex87f > Ratchet when he's all hopped up on synthetic energon 01/01/2014 at 10:55

13

The Elise's tub is actually aluminium.

As for rallying with it, well...

Pitchblende > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 10:56

8

Ever wanted to eat your own stones and dirt? Wildly inappropriate, but think of the fun you can have throwing something this short with the engine behind you around a twisty gravel road, until you meet a high-speed tree, that is.

PoorBoysRacing5389 > PoorBoysRacing5389 01/01/2014 at 10:56

0

^picture proof!

benn454 > Icchan 01/01/2014 at 10:57

0

Landing might be a little rough.

And fiery.

KnowsAboutCars > PS9 01/01/2014 at 10:58

1

I came to suggest this but with WRC Corolla drivetrain swap.

One less Hybrid car in existence.

With-a-G is back to not having anything written after his username > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 10:59

4

Putting rally lights on everything isn't a sickness; it's a superpower.

Justin Young > Tetrisaurus 01/01/2014 at 11:04

17

Yes.

Old-Busted-Hotness > Iwaswonderofwonders 01/01/2014 at 11:07

2

You'd be surprised. Those little fuckers are pretty tough.

John The Race Fan > Iwaswonderofwonders 01/01/2014 at 11:10

2

Inappropriate, yes.
Awesome, no.

John Norris (AngryDrifter) > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 11:10

2

If you are going with a Mustang for your rally car:

you need to make sure you have an appropriate exhaust set up:

John Norris (AngryDrifter) > John Norris (AngryDrifter) 01/01/2014 at 11:14

1

Of course I just noticed if you Google Mustang Rally images, you get quite a collection.

John The Race Fan > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 11:14

4

Admit it. You want to see it with dirt tires sliding around a corner.
Better yet, catching air or in the Scandinavian ice...

I think it would be awesome. Or at least hilarious.

Taylor Nelson > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 11:15

4

Old VW bus. Wait, we did that already!

Jeff-God-of-Biscuits > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 11:16

14

Because Great big luxurious race car.

speeddemon807 > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 11:18

4

Eric Bana's Doc Love the Beast featured his beloved Ford Falcon XB Coupe. This Ford is an awesome rally car.

ast1994 > GhostZ 01/01/2014 at 11:19

0

lol i have a 2002 civic si (ep3) similar body and chassis to the type R and i want to rally mine lol

BannedAndFurious > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 11:20

10

Unusual rally cars? Unusual rally cars.

NotLuckyScott > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 11:22

1

This one would probably be pretty sweet until you crashed and tried to hammer out the dents.

MDP310 > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 11:24

5

RALLY LIMO!

Clutchman83 > Justin Young 01/01/2014 at 11:26

8

Holy shit that is awesome! I'm gonna go buy a case of Red Bull now.

$kaycog > dataPOG 01/01/2014 at 11:28

2

That's lovely..........and HOT!

El Darto > NotLuckyScott 01/01/2014 at 11:30

0

Hammer out what dents?

Birddog > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 11:30

2

One of these!

Joe_Limon > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 11:34

11

Rally in comfort

TheRallyStache > MDP310 01/01/2014 at 11:35

0

I came here to post this.

TheRallyStache > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 11:38

4

Hah. Joke's on you. There is no such thing as an inappropriate rally car. Rally is an equalizer. It doesn't matter what you drive, you can rally it.

Autojunkie > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 11:38

2

Audi R8 is a logical choice

Autojunkie > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 11:40

11

This could be all sorts of inappropriate fun.

Autojunkie > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 11:44

5

Ok... Why the hell not, if we're really trying to be inappropriate.

NinjaViper > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 11:46

2

i think a ford raptor would be great, it can take some big jumps, built for the off road right from the factory, 4 wheel drive, monster 6.2L motor with a great song, especially if u get the 2nd exhaust that dumps it straight out the side

Tetrisaurus > Justin Young 01/01/2014 at 11:48

0

Ahhhhh, I'd forgotten about this video. Well played sir, well played

FadedGlory > The Old Man from Scene 24 01/01/2014 at 11:54

0

I hear it's the best.

Vie Ventar > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 11:58

2

With the base model's 1.2l strait three turboed to hell.

alan666 > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 12:00

2

The 959

Graham King > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 12:01

1

No such thing as an inappropriate rally car. If it works, it works. Definitely agree about Cayman S, though. When I win the lottery I'm going to get Tuthill Porsche to build me one.

ridered777 > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 12:01

13

From the latest Top Gear special:

10/10, would hoon again

car69 > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 12:03

3

Spdwagen > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 12:10

2

RacistPanda > ridered777 01/01/2014 at 12:10

0

is it out yet? Or can I find it online

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 12:13

4

Inappropriate? Absolutely. Awesome to watch one of these attempt to heave itself up a Swedish forest trail? You bet.

Chad Lott > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 12:14

3

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 12:14

2

A real COPO Camaro was rallied in Sweden

ridered777 > RacistPanda 01/01/2014 at 12:16

0

http://www.amazon.com/Top-Gear-Perfe…

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

It's also on the interwebs...

Sam Payne > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 12:16

4

Something I'd like to do one day: swap a GT-R engine into the back of a DeLorean and go rallying. Because where we're going, we don't need roads.

Either that, or go with an electric conversion, because "this sucker's electrical!"

Either way: Mr. Fusion Racing

Who needs sway bars anyway > Ramblin Rover - The Vivisector of Solihull 01/01/2014 at 12:17

4

Don't forget the Falcon Rally special!

Who needs sway bars anyway > Autojunkie 01/01/2014 at 12:23

2

modern or classic, but the classic is a proven desert performer.

fastivaracer > Tetrisaurus 01/01/2014 at 12:25

0

They can take on the winter stages too.

burdickjp > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 12:29

2

felixthegrumpycat > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 12:32

2

The answer is always Fiat Dino. The awesome is especially strong in this one:

CPT Speedbump > Corey CC97, MAZDA DPI IS STILL BAE JOESTACTIV JOESTACTIV JOESTACTIV JOESTACTIV VISIT FLORIDA RACING LIVES FOREVER IN OUR HEARTS 01/01/2014 at 12:32

1

safe to say Bentley would compete with it?

CPT Speedbump > ridered777 01/01/2014 at 12:33

0

They have a rally series just for the 350Z already

CPT Speedbump > Ratchet when he's all hopped up on synthetic energon 01/01/2014 at 12:35

1

Lotus made a rally prepped Exige to sale to the public, so most be able to handle a jump, lol

PS9 > Who needs sway bars anyway 01/01/2014 at 12:35

2

Wow, Kinja. You don't have to like the car WNSBA is talking about, but you're just gonna censor his image like that? Kinja must be a contraction of 'Kock Ninja' because that's a dick move right there.

turbokitten > RacistPanda 01/01/2014 at 12:36

2

http://www.streetfire.net/video/top-gear…

Who needs sway bars anyway > PS9 01/01/2014 at 12:39

0

Damn you kinja, try this one....

or this one

Thisnewformatisrubbish > GhostZ 01/01/2014 at 12:39

0

Datsun all of the things ;)

Drsweetdik > Corey CC97, MAZDA DPI IS STILL BAE JOESTACTIV JOESTACTIV JOESTACTIV JOESTACTIV VISIT FLORIDA RACING LIVES FOREVER IN OUR HEARTS 01/01/2014 at 12:41

0

Gunna do that tonight and beat it around the Carson Golf Course.

Drsweetdik > Birddog 01/01/2014 at 12:43

0

That front overhang. Better suited for a demo derby. :)

cesariojpn > daender 01/01/2014 at 12:43

1

Rust in Peace.

Nick Has an Exocet > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 12:44

2

I made the wheels a bit too big in photoshop, but you get the idea. 1941 BMW 327.

cesariojpn > GhostZ 01/01/2014 at 12:46

3

You fucktard, several 240Z's won a few rallies in the 70's/80's.

http://press.nissan-global.com/COMMON/HERITAG…

PaAudiZS4 > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 12:50

2

I've recently saw a sale on hella lights and thought about buying a set for my b8 a4, what do guys think ?

AthomSfere > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 12:53

6

For me, the answer is always...

BATMOBILE!

Louis Subearth > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 12:56

1

Any Mercedes C107 coupe, they ran in South America just fine.

Ad_absurdum_per_aspera > Tom McParland 01/01/2014 at 13:00

1

Time to watch "The Milagro Beanfield War" again — there's a scene where Christopher Walken, not wanting to be spotted as a meddling outsider, breaks in his LTD cop car for local camouflage before going to work...